![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Box 83.....
I started pitching files yesterday. THe first to go were the 3 boxes of newspaper clippings. THey haven't been sorted, and since I haven't gone through them in 5 years, I don't need them. I saved a few of the clipping files, though.
The next was box 83. This contained printouts of email and bulletin board postings from 1988. This was a hard year for me. I was looking forward to graduating, and couldn't find a job. (Sound familiar?) I was madly in love with a girl named Jeanette, but I was too much of a Nice Guy, and so, things didn't happen between us. It was also the year one of my neighbors (and childhood friend) drowned. And it was the year a friend of mine became an ex-friend.
I first met David through one of the local SF/fantasy groups. Like many geniuses, he was a little on the quirky side, but otherwise an all right guy. In the fall of 1987, he fell head over heels with someone who didn't return those feelings. And he was emotionally crushed. So much so, that he didn't return to school for the Spring 1988 semester. (I'm suspecting a nervous breakdown occurred.) Then in the summer, I started getting messages from someone who called themselves "Jolly Jack", and had the persona of a pirate. He claimed to be David's cousin, and was trying to avenge David by haranguing me and telling me that I was no friend of his cousin's. To be honest, I had no idea David had been so devastated. I hadn't checked up on him. But then, he never asked me for help. Nor did I ever sign a gcontract which detailed the conditions of our friendship. Eventually, "Jolly Jack" and his abuse went away. But it left me shaken and wary.
Seeing those posts again brought up the same feelings. But this time, I was prepared to handle them and quell them. "Jolly Jack" was probably a persona David used to lash out at me and his friends who, in his judgement, had abandoned him. (I know that I wasn't the only target.) He vented his anger in the most vicious way possible -- public character assassination. Neither of us were skilled at diplomacy, and he went at me the only way he knew how. If I knew then what I knew now, things would have been a lot cleaner and succinct.
I've since forgiven David. I don't spend time thinking or worrying about him. I know my life is better off without him than with him. And I'm sure that if he's still alive, he'd feel the same way.
The next was box 83. This contained printouts of email and bulletin board postings from 1988. This was a hard year for me. I was looking forward to graduating, and couldn't find a job. (Sound familiar?) I was madly in love with a girl named Jeanette, but I was too much of a Nice Guy, and so, things didn't happen between us. It was also the year one of my neighbors (and childhood friend) drowned. And it was the year a friend of mine became an ex-friend.
I first met David through one of the local SF/fantasy groups. Like many geniuses, he was a little on the quirky side, but otherwise an all right guy. In the fall of 1987, he fell head over heels with someone who didn't return those feelings. And he was emotionally crushed. So much so, that he didn't return to school for the Spring 1988 semester. (I'm suspecting a nervous breakdown occurred.) Then in the summer, I started getting messages from someone who called themselves "Jolly Jack", and had the persona of a pirate. He claimed to be David's cousin, and was trying to avenge David by haranguing me and telling me that I was no friend of his cousin's. To be honest, I had no idea David had been so devastated. I hadn't checked up on him. But then, he never asked me for help. Nor did I ever sign a gcontract which detailed the conditions of our friendship. Eventually, "Jolly Jack" and his abuse went away. But it left me shaken and wary.
Seeing those posts again brought up the same feelings. But this time, I was prepared to handle them and quell them. "Jolly Jack" was probably a persona David used to lash out at me and his friends who, in his judgement, had abandoned him. (I know that I wasn't the only target.) He vented his anger in the most vicious way possible -- public character assassination. Neither of us were skilled at diplomacy, and he went at me the only way he knew how. If I knew then what I knew now, things would have been a lot cleaner and succinct.
I've since forgiven David. I don't spend time thinking or worrying about him. I know my life is better off without him than with him. And I'm sure that if he's still alive, he'd feel the same way.