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OVFF 30 highlights.....
After taking off a year from all filk conventions, I attended OVFF this year.
Rather than give a detailed con report, I'll give some of my own personal highlights as buillet points:
- Arriving early enough on Friday afternoon to talk with fellow attendees. Most were happy to see me and were glad I attended. (That was not my experience two years ago.)
- Performing "Starlight and Saxophone" with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
billroper, who was drafted at the 11th hour to play the song after filkertom was unable to attend due to missing car keys.
- Listening to Copy Red Leader while I was trying to figure out my new Novation Launchpad S controller.
- Karen Lindsley's concert.
- Being a "melodica ninja" at Debs & Errol's concert. (If I knew their song was to the tune of "If I Had A Million Dollars", and knew the key, I could have played it myself.)
- Hanging out withrms_butterfly and maedbh7 at the registration table.
- The Sunday afternoon jam, led bymin0taur.
- The dead dog dinner party at BD's Mongolian Barbeque, and chatting with a convention attendee who knew of Raquy and Carmine.
- And most importantly for me, the feeling that I'm still wanted and welcome in the filk community.
And why was this so important? In past years (even going as far back as 1998), I felt marginalized, perhaps even unwanted and unwelcome, at this con. People would walk by me in the halls and not greet me, or not remember me from past years. It's as if I was invisible. I've often said, "If filk is a family, I'm the black sheep of the family." But after talking with a number of folks at the con, I was made aware of some things I wasn't aware of:
1) Some fans are often so focused on where they're going that they don't see anything in their peripheral vision. I'm constantly in wide-scan mode, so I notice more things that are going on around me.
2) Many fans are, by nature, mostly shy and introverted, even more so than I am.
3) Some fans have what's called "face blindness" -- a lack of facial recognition. I don't have this.
4) Some fans only see me once a year, so there's often no recollection of me from year to year. I remember what people look like.
5) There isn't a lot of time to socialize at cons, especially when the programming schedule is packed with activities.
So why was I taking these as snubs? Because that was my history with people. From the 7th grade classmates who didn't want me to sit with them at lunch, to the kids in my high school gaming club that didn't want to associate with me. And those same old feelings from high school were triggered. I'm thankful for those who assured me that I wan't unwanted and unwelcome, and helped me feel appreciated and valued, especiallyjudifilksign, hofdave, jhayman, ldwheeler and Diane, ohiblather, Rand and Erin, autographedcat and kitanzi. The list goes on, so if I left you out, I apologize.
But I still feel that I'm not in the "inner circle", and probably never will be. Filk has a strong bias toward soloists and guitarists. I play keyboards and woodwinds (and not guitar), I'm more of an ensemble player than a soloist, my musical background is through high school concert band and jazz ensemble, and I'd rather make music WITH people than FOR people. I'm still a relative unknown, even though I've been in the community for over 20 years. There are folks in the community to whom I'm a stranger, and are perfectly content to keep it that way. Yes, I'm sad about it, but a musician has to have a thick skin, and so I say "Their loss."
Rather than give a detailed con report, I'll give some of my own personal highlights as buillet points:
- Arriving early enough on Friday afternoon to talk with fellow attendees. Most were happy to see me and were glad I attended. (That was not my experience two years ago.)
- Performing "Starlight and Saxophone" with
billroper, who was drafted at the 11th hour to play the song after filkertom was unable to attend due to missing car keys.- Listening to Copy Red Leader while I was trying to figure out my new Novation Launchpad S controller.
- Karen Lindsley's concert.
- Being a "melodica ninja" at Debs & Errol's concert. (If I knew their song was to the tune of "If I Had A Million Dollars", and knew the key, I could have played it myself.)
- Hanging out with
rms_butterfly and maedbh7 at the registration table.- The Sunday afternoon jam, led by
min0taur.- The dead dog dinner party at BD's Mongolian Barbeque, and chatting with a convention attendee who knew of Raquy and Carmine.
- And most importantly for me, the feeling that I'm still wanted and welcome in the filk community.
And why was this so important? In past years (even going as far back as 1998), I felt marginalized, perhaps even unwanted and unwelcome, at this con. People would walk by me in the halls and not greet me, or not remember me from past years. It's as if I was invisible. I've often said, "If filk is a family, I'm the black sheep of the family." But after talking with a number of folks at the con, I was made aware of some things I wasn't aware of:
1) Some fans are often so focused on where they're going that they don't see anything in their peripheral vision. I'm constantly in wide-scan mode, so I notice more things that are going on around me.
2) Many fans are, by nature, mostly shy and introverted, even more so than I am.
3) Some fans have what's called "face blindness" -- a lack of facial recognition. I don't have this.
4) Some fans only see me once a year, so there's often no recollection of me from year to year. I remember what people look like.
5) There isn't a lot of time to socialize at cons, especially when the programming schedule is packed with activities.
So why was I taking these as snubs? Because that was my history with people. From the 7th grade classmates who didn't want me to sit with them at lunch, to the kids in my high school gaming club that didn't want to associate with me. And those same old feelings from high school were triggered. I'm thankful for those who assured me that I wan't unwanted and unwelcome, and helped me feel appreciated and valued, especially
judifilksign, hofdave, jhayman, ldwheeler and Diane, ohiblather, Rand and Erin, autographedcat and kitanzi. The list goes on, so if I left you out, I apologize.But I still feel that I'm not in the "inner circle", and probably never will be. Filk has a strong bias toward soloists and guitarists. I play keyboards and woodwinds (and not guitar), I'm more of an ensemble player than a soloist, my musical background is through high school concert band and jazz ensemble, and I'd rather make music WITH people than FOR people. I'm still a relative unknown, even though I've been in the community for over 20 years. There are folks in the community to whom I'm a stranger, and are perfectly content to keep it that way. Yes, I'm sad about it, but a musician has to have a thick skin, and so I say "Their loss."
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I am glad you got to OVFF and had a good time. And yeah, do remember that fandom has a larger than average number of people who aren't well-socialized. Sometimes it's because they have some level of autism, sometimes they're just plain introverts, sometimes it's just because they never learned "the rules" that most of society tends to go by, sometimes they're just different ... and yeah, there are a few outright jerks in the crowd as well. Don't let it get to you. Do remember that when you're dealing with the "differently socialized", trying to meet them at least halfway sometimes helps.
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They didn't do a great job of screening kids for this kind of thing when you and I were kids. :-/ Oh well, science marches on, right?
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As for performing on Starlight and Saxophone. You did great. Keep playing your instruments for your enjoyment. A side benefit is that we get to hear you performing (and share in your joy of playing) when your turn comes up in circle. Plus by playing something other than the standard string instruments, you add a different flavor to a filk circle. It is needed. My local filk community tends towards soloists and guitarists (or other string instruments.) We do have a woodwind performer that does occasionally show up and I enjoy having something different taking a turn in the circle. It adds to the circle in a good way.
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And there were so many friends and so little time. I had a conversation that was long enough to be satisfying with only one person (Kanef). Glad we connected, albeit briefly.
Your items #3 and #4 apply to me to an extent. I don't know if I could recognize you from a distance.
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I fall into the introverted (with mild social anxiety) camp. I definitely would have had a much harder time coming into the community if not for coming attached to my extroverted and already well-known husband. ;)
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I clearly need to figure out before next OVFF which of my songs go well with a keyboard or woodwind part. 8-)