Sometimes setting up small group (no more than 10 people) events works - no requirement of 1:1, just the opportunity. Plus, when its an activity you already enjoy, finding good company along is icing. Also, you can observe how the she interacts with others and see if thats a good fit for your style.
For a smaller invite - ask the woman to join you for coffee or tea mid-afternoon. Its not as big a time commitment as lunch or dinner and is often time-limited, so each of you can get a 'taste' of the other 1:1 rather than a sys dump.
Activities you both enjoy give you time together and things to discuss, deeping the friendship/relationship.
I'd suggest public venues initially, not your home, so the woman's safety antena won't go on auto-pilot and interfere with getting to know each other.
As you develop deeper friendships, you can disclose that you are ready to move into more than a friendship in your life (yes, a little indirect) and test the waters. If she says she's not at that point yet, either a) she's letting you know she's not interested in you or b) she really isn't at that point in her life (a bit more likely with larger age differences). Being a little indirect allows the topic to be discussed without overt rejection.
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timeasmymeasure
Easing into relationships - some thoughts.
Date: 2009-03-11 11:54 pm (UTC)For a smaller invite - ask the woman to join you for coffee or tea mid-afternoon. Its not as big a time commitment as lunch or dinner and is often time-limited, so each of you can get a 'taste' of the other 1:1 rather than a sys dump.
Activities you both enjoy give you time together and things to discuss, deeping the friendship/relationship.
I'd suggest public venues initially, not your home, so the woman's safety antena won't go on auto-pilot and interfere with getting to know each other.
As you develop deeper friendships, you can disclose that you are ready to move into more than a friendship in your life (yes, a little indirect) and test the waters. If she says she's not at that point yet, either a) she's letting you know she's not interested in you or b) she really isn't at that point in her life (a bit more likely with larger age differences). Being a little indirect allows the topic to be discussed without overt rejection.
BJ