poltr1 | Does anybody really care?

I post to LJ -- more frequently than I should -- and send messages to several email lists I'm on. Occasionally, I'll get feedback. Other times, I get none. And that's when my Shadow of Insecurity kicks in.

When I don't get feedback, the Irrational Guy in my head takes over and I start to think, "Am I being ignored?" "Is what I have to say even being read or heard?" And so the downward spiral begins.

Rational Guy, who lives in my head, would often say, "Could it be that they just don't have the time to respond? They have jobs. They have families. They have lives. As an example, one of your LJ-friends has over 200 LJ-friends of her own, and she just started a new job a couple of weeks ago, where she doesn't have any online access. What makes you think you're more deserving of her time that the rest of the people in her life?"

Irrational Guy, who lives next door to Rational Guy, responds, "Yeah, I know. You're right. But I feel like I'm left hanging when I don't get any feedback from people. Silence denotes indifference, y'know? You remember how the people in high school would say 'Ask me if I care!' to Jim when he would say something profound, or pat him on the head and say, 'That's good, Jim.' They weren't interested in what he had to say, or they just couldn't understand him."

Rational Guy asks, "Remember the time he spent on Usenet in college? If he said something that was correct, people wouldn't respond. They gave him their silent assent. They didn't waste any bandwidth with praise or agreement. There, silence denoted concurrence."

Irrational Guy responds, "Yeah, but if he was ever wrong, people would come out of the woodwork and correct him. It was like some bizarre one-upsmanship ritual. I'm right and you're wrong. So there, smarty. Nyah nyah nyah!"

Rational Guy: "They were only trying to help."

Irrational Guy: "But they could have done it in such a way that he wouldn't lose face."

Blunt Guy, who lives down the street, joins the conversation and flatly states, "That's academia for you. When have you ever heard a professor say, 'I don't know' or 'I could be wrong'? That just doesn't happen."

Rational Guy: "We're getting off topic here. Look at the topics Jim writes about in his LJ. Chicken wings. Synthesizers. Local events and happenings. Trying new food. The stuff that's going on around him every day, or the stuff that's important in his life right now. Other people don't have the same loves or interests he does. It's not that they don't care, or aren't interested. They're just not into these things as much as Jim is. Could that be why no one's responding?"

Irrational Guy: "Hmmmm.....could be. You suppose if he'd wrote about stuff that more people would be interested in, then they'd respond?"

Rational Guy: "Hard to tell. It's a crapshoot with every post or message. Put it out there, roll the dice. It's not like we're dependendant on the Nielsen or Arbitron ratings. I say Jim should just keep on keepin' on."

Irrational Guy: "Well, OK. Have it your way."