Men and women need their own spaces.....
Feb. 19th, 2007 01:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
poltr1....to process and heal.
Not only do men and women have different body parts -- vive la difference! -- but we're wired differently in the mind. While we're not exactly from different planets (a la John Grey's books), our thought processes are so different that it leads to misunderstanding and frustration.
Examples: Women often talk with each other about the problems and situations in their life. Men don't. Women hug each other. Men don't -- not very often.
While I'm happy to counsel women if asked, I realize that there are some areas or aspects where I have no experience or business being. That's when I'd refer women to seek counsel with other women.
I am fortunate to have a circle of men who can support and counsel me in a confidential and non-judgemental manner. Sometimes it's like having a room full of Dr. Phils, pointing out what they see in my life and challenge me to do something about it. And sometimes it's like having a room of close friends.
Not only do men and women have different body parts -- vive la difference! -- but we're wired differently in the mind. While we're not exactly from different planets (a la John Grey's books), our thought processes are so different that it leads to misunderstanding and frustration.
Examples: Women often talk with each other about the problems and situations in their life. Men don't. Women hug each other. Men don't -- not very often.
While I'm happy to counsel women if asked, I realize that there are some areas or aspects where I have no experience or business being. That's when I'd refer women to seek counsel with other women.
I am fortunate to have a circle of men who can support and counsel me in a confidential and non-judgemental manner. Sometimes it's like having a room full of Dr. Phils, pointing out what they see in my life and challenge me to do something about it. And sometimes it's like having a room of close friends.
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no subject
Date: 2007-02-19 08:21 am (UTC)I've been in women's groups too and I haven't liked them as well as I've liked being in a mixed male/female group. The bottom line on the women's groups I've been in has been too much male-bashing and focusing on why we can't do anything because of some man. At least that's the way it was in the last women's group I managed to go to a couple of times. Since my husband made a point of taking off work in time to drive me there because of my fibro I was hardly going to join in and talk about him being a jerk. Because he's not and I won't say so.
In the mixed groups I've been in, I have enjoyed the way that some of the men met the issues they were struggling with and their desire to work through to the other side of the problem rather than just bitch and moan about it forever. Not that I haven't been in a good women's group before because I have, but I've also been in bad ones, too.
no subject
Date: 2007-02-20 04:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-19 03:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-19 10:37 pm (UTC)Congratulations on having the emotional and mental maturity to realize that women need something different than men do. Not all guys get that. This kind of wisdom is one more reason why I personally am proud to call you a friend. It's guys like you who make me glad that I never gave up on the gender and take every guy on an individual basis.
There are times when guy bashing can be theraputic, just as I'm sure that there are times when gal bashing can be the same. But when that becomes the whole focus of a group I personally don't find it helpfull.
Have a rose as a thank you.
no subject
Date: 2007-02-20 04:22 am (UTC)*hug*