I get up, I get down......

[poltr1]

I just refiled my last post under my new "emo" filter.

Some people have physical ailments -- bad backs, arthritis, heart conditions, diabetes, epilepsy, et al. I have mental ailments -- depression and mood swings. Even though I'm under a doctor's care and I take medication, there are still times when I sink deep into the depths of depression. Last night was one of those nights. I know some of you don't care to hear my victim vomit, but that's what I was thinking and feeling last night.

Tonight was a little better. Instead of staying at home, I went book shopping. I think I have enough books, which helps me from overbuying. I found one book I was looking for, and another book on keyboard playing. And the Greene was packed tonight with people!

Comments

[yourmommma.livejournal.com]

That's the thing about life. It has its bad moments and it has its good moments and it has its mixed mood moments.

Did you ever see the Sandra Bullock movie "28 Days" where she checks into rehab? Some of it is corny, some of it is predictable, but for me the best moment is when she yells "I'M HAVING A BAD DAY!"

Some times (on my very worst days, of course) I actually self-soothe by telling myself "You're just having a bad day." I walk around the house riddled with anxiety or lie on the bed crying and say "It's okay you are just having a bad day." Something about giving myself permission to have a bad day feels really nurturing to me.

Also it reminds me that today might be bad but a different day might be better. You don't have to apologize for having a bad day and feeling lonely sometimes that happens. But I think it is most helpful to remember that it's your brain chemistry that is making you feel that way rather than others' actions. Even if your sole power is the knowledge that you are depressed, don't relocate it onto your friends. JMO

[kliklikitty.livejournal.com]

I agree with Mommma it's ok to have bad days. One of my favorite movie quotes when I'm having a bad day is from The Crow. "It can't rain all of the time" It serves as a reminder to me that no matter how bad things seem at the moment it can not stay that way for ever.

I'm sorry you had a bad day and that you seem to be getting back your personal emotional equalibrium. Not that it matters all that much, but I think you are doing a great job in dealing with your depression.

HUGS
-A