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poltr1This had been kicking around in my head for a while. Despite the progress made towards many other isms -- racism, sexism, etc. -- I believe American society still discriminates based on socio-economic standing (classism) and personal appearance (which I call "looksism").
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joecoustic posted a journal entry which contained a link to an article on the ABC News web site about how people are judged negatively simply by being around fat people, followed by some of her comments. I thought I posted a short reply to her post, but it was either never posted or was deleted. C'est la vie.
So, with a little more free time on my hands, I'll start again, and go into depth.
Let me preface this by saying that I consider myself to be both overweight and not overly attractive. I've been heavy since I was 6. I look in the mirror and I see an ugly man staring back at me.
Yet another soldier fighting the battle of the bulge
I still remember the taunts from elementary school through high school. One of the boys accused me of being pregnant because I was fat. Maybe he was teasing, but I felt the hurt instead of the humor. I was able to lose the weight twice through two different programs -- Weight Loss Clinic in 1985, and Diet Workshop in 1991 -- but wasn't able to keep it off. I still saw a fat person in the mirror.
As for exercise, I hated running because I always came in last, wheezing. I was the proverbial "last kid to be picked". Although I can now engage in non-competitive activity (like walking, bicycling, or swimming), I still don't. I look around at the clutter in my house and say "That has a higher priority than exercise."
Now I am paying the price for being heavy. It's causing some health complications. It's reached the point where if I don't do something about it now, it will eventually kill me sooner than later. I'm glad my doctor has found out *why* I have a weight problem, but sometimes I feel like he's part of a conspiracy to turn me into a 98-pound weaking and fleece me of my money.
There's also a psychological factor to my being overweight. Being big makes me intimidating. How can I throw my weight around if I don't any weight to throw around? With few exceptions, I've seen very few short and/or thin people be powerful, intimidating, and convincing. (And those that do are probably overcompensating. I call that "Miles Vorkosigan Syndrome", after the famous character in SF literature.)
The Beauty Game
And then there's the Beauty Game, to quote the name of a Garnet Rogers song. The myth that people have to be physically attractive in order to be popular and successful. It's all around us, coming from the images we see in ads, in magazines, on TV, and in the movies. Nearly all of them are people with thin bodies and attractive faces, all smiling back at us (except for the pouting supermodels strutting down the runway).
Do these images mirror our perception of beauty, or do they dictate it? What does our society consider to be beautiful? Is it healthy or unhealthy?
We all know what most men and women consider "beautiful". Although I believe I'm a little more enlightened that the sterotypical man, I am also just as much a "looker" (i.e. visually oriented) as the other man. And as much as I hate to admit it, I am still a looksist.
I am turned off by extreme thinness and morbid obesity in both sexes. (I work with a man whose waist size appears to equal or exceed his height. I don't know how he can stay healthy that way.)
I've said it before in an earlier LJ post, and I'll say it again: I like curves on a woman. Give me Bettie Page over Kate Moss any day! Many of my past girlfriends -- and my wife -- were/are all curvy and voluptuous. I don't like to hug nothing but skin and bones! Besides, when the lights are off, does it really matter how she looks? ;-)
The Hollywood stereotype of skinny beauty is slowly (and thankfully) changing, thanks to courageous women like Camryn Manheim, Queen Latifah, Kate Dillon, Kate Winslet, Drew Barrymore, and others whose names I can't remember or don't know. Oh yeah....and Anna Nicole Smith (as long as I've pressed the "mute" button).
I just need to be conscious of my own looksism, and look for people's inner beauty with my heart, instead of relying on my eyes to see beauty.
Beneath it all....I am a masterpiece in progress! I know I'm no George Clooney or Brad Pitt. I may not be the best looking man out there, but I don't think I'm the worst looking. If physical attraction and physical strength is what I wanted as a priority in my life, I'd spend more time at the gym, working out, or at home with an exercise machine like a Bowflex or Ab Scissor. But it's not a priority for me. I've accepted myself as I am, including all the good and bad things about me. I can work on reinforcing the good things, and work on the bad things if I choose to do so. Or not. Other people can disagree with me, tell me I'm fat and/or ugly, and that's okay. Because I know I'm OK as I am, and that God don't make no junk!
Recently,
joecoustic posted a journal entry which contained a link to an article on the ABC News web site about how people are judged negatively simply by being around fat people, followed by some of her comments. I thought I posted a short reply to her post, but it was either never posted or was deleted. C'est la vie.So, with a little more free time on my hands, I'll start again, and go into depth.
Let me preface this by saying that I consider myself to be both overweight and not overly attractive. I've been heavy since I was 6. I look in the mirror and I see an ugly man staring back at me.
Yet another soldier fighting the battle of the bulge
I still remember the taunts from elementary school through high school. One of the boys accused me of being pregnant because I was fat. Maybe he was teasing, but I felt the hurt instead of the humor. I was able to lose the weight twice through two different programs -- Weight Loss Clinic in 1985, and Diet Workshop in 1991 -- but wasn't able to keep it off. I still saw a fat person in the mirror.
As for exercise, I hated running because I always came in last, wheezing. I was the proverbial "last kid to be picked". Although I can now engage in non-competitive activity (like walking, bicycling, or swimming), I still don't. I look around at the clutter in my house and say "That has a higher priority than exercise."
Now I am paying the price for being heavy. It's causing some health complications. It's reached the point where if I don't do something about it now, it will eventually kill me sooner than later. I'm glad my doctor has found out *why* I have a weight problem, but sometimes I feel like he's part of a conspiracy to turn me into a 98-pound weaking and fleece me of my money.
There's also a psychological factor to my being overweight. Being big makes me intimidating. How can I throw my weight around if I don't any weight to throw around? With few exceptions, I've seen very few short and/or thin people be powerful, intimidating, and convincing. (And those that do are probably overcompensating. I call that "Miles Vorkosigan Syndrome", after the famous character in SF literature.)
The Beauty Game
And then there's the Beauty Game, to quote the name of a Garnet Rogers song. The myth that people have to be physically attractive in order to be popular and successful. It's all around us, coming from the images we see in ads, in magazines, on TV, and in the movies. Nearly all of them are people with thin bodies and attractive faces, all smiling back at us (except for the pouting supermodels strutting down the runway).
Do these images mirror our perception of beauty, or do they dictate it? What does our society consider to be beautiful? Is it healthy or unhealthy?
We all know what most men and women consider "beautiful". Although I believe I'm a little more enlightened that the sterotypical man, I am also just as much a "looker" (i.e. visually oriented) as the other man. And as much as I hate to admit it, I am still a looksist.
I am turned off by extreme thinness and morbid obesity in both sexes. (I work with a man whose waist size appears to equal or exceed his height. I don't know how he can stay healthy that way.)
I've said it before in an earlier LJ post, and I'll say it again: I like curves on a woman. Give me Bettie Page over Kate Moss any day! Many of my past girlfriends -- and my wife -- were/are all curvy and voluptuous. I don't like to hug nothing but skin and bones! Besides, when the lights are off, does it really matter how she looks? ;-)
The Hollywood stereotype of skinny beauty is slowly (and thankfully) changing, thanks to courageous women like Camryn Manheim, Queen Latifah, Kate Dillon, Kate Winslet, Drew Barrymore, and others whose names I can't remember or don't know. Oh yeah....and Anna Nicole Smith (as long as I've pressed the "mute" button).
I just need to be conscious of my own looksism, and look for people's inner beauty with my heart, instead of relying on my eyes to see beauty.
Beneath it all....I am a masterpiece in progress! I know I'm no George Clooney or Brad Pitt. I may not be the best looking man out there, but I don't think I'm the worst looking. If physical attraction and physical strength is what I wanted as a priority in my life, I'd spend more time at the gym, working out, or at home with an exercise machine like a Bowflex or Ab Scissor. But it's not a priority for me. I've accepted myself as I am, including all the good and bad things about me. I can work on reinforcing the good things, and work on the bad things if I choose to do so. Or not. Other people can disagree with me, tell me I'm fat and/or ugly, and that's okay. Because I know I'm OK as I am, and that God don't make no junk!
