Scary Things at the Grocery Store......

[poltr1]

For truly frightful things, you only have to go as far as the aisles of the local grocery store.

A recent shopping run uncovered these monstrosities:

Head cheese. It sure doesn't look like any cheese I'd eat! Meat parts bound together by something resembling clear gelatin.

Pasteurized Process Cheese Food. What you feed to paseurized process cheeses so they can grow up big and strong.

Meat Sticks. In the baby food aisle. While they look like Vienna sausages, I had to read the label to see what type of meat they had in them. (Beef and pork.)

Potted Meat Food Product. Probably the most unappetizing product name ever. With an ingredient list to match. I'm sure to find a can or two in an old fallout shelter. All it needs is a plain yellow label with the name in black stencils or lettering.

Stoned Wheat Thins. I see the name and I hear Cheech and Chong saying, "Oh, wow, man!" I know, it's short for "Stone-Ground Wheat Thins" because the wheat is stone-ground, and they're really good (especially with cheese!), but I can't help but think of an alleged drug reference....to a small green leafy substance.

Underwood Deviled Ham. This probably doesn't sell very well in predominantly fundamentalist Christian areas of the country, like the South. (OK, I know it's really a form of ham salad, and is also good on the aforementioned Stoned Wheat Thins.)

Easy Cheese. Cheese in a spray can, a la whipped cream. How gauche.

"Walleye White" wine. Sure the bottle is a pretty cobalt blue, and it has a cork instead of a screw-top, but the wine inside tastes awful. Trust me on this.

What are the items at the grocery store whose names give you the willies, or the heebee-jeebees, or the giggles?

Comments

[maedbh7.livejournal.com]

For me, it's not the flavor, it's the texture+temperature. Porridge, grits, indian pudding, and instant oatmeal are the consistancy and temperature of vomit; thus, it's too gross for me to eat.

rms_butterfly can tell you..I tried a bite of her Indian Pudding, and she got to watch my face go "Wow, this tastes great; now if I can just choke it down, I'll never have to feel this texture in my mouth ever again." -H...

[autographedcat.livejournal.com]

Oh, I understand. The Suthen'r in me feels the need to defend grits when they are defamed, though. And a lot of people (not you, obviously) dislike grits without ever having had them properly prepared. I won't make ya eat them, though -- leaves more for me!