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poltr1[Parts of this were originally written on 6/28/12.]
One of my friends -- Julie -- is quick to suggest ways for me to save money. From doing my own car maintenance, to getting get reduced-rate dental care from the local community college, or selling my excess things on Craigslist, to getting free boxes, she's suggesting things for me that she's done herself.
And frankly, I'm starting to feel that I'm being manipulated by her and her suggestions.
There are reasons I do what I do. I don't do my own car maintenance -- oil changes, A/C recharges, etc. -- because it's against my condo association's bylaws to do this type of work on my property. (Plus I'm lousy at car repairs, unless they're simple fixes.) I already have a dentist, but I haven't seen him because I haven't had dental insurance. And I don't exactly trust Craigslist, or the people on it. And as for the boxes -- I"m not interested if they're not just the right size, shape, or style.
What I don't think she understands is that I am willing to pay a little extra to get what I want. If I try to save myself a little money, I often short-change myself, accepting less-than-ideal quality goods.
I feel the same way about salespeople: they'll try to sell you things you don't need, in order to make their commission, and not accept no for an answer. Deep down, I know that not all salesmen are like this, that there there are some good salesmen out there who will work with me to get me what I want, and not try to sell me things I don't need. But I seem to
encounter more of the bad salesmen than the good salesmen.
If I have to bend and say "yes" to one person, then I have to bend and say "yes" to everyone else. And if I do that, I'm not standing up for myself -- I'm a spineless dweeb, saying "yes' to everyone and everything that comes along. And that makes me a sucker.
I hate being manipulated or suckered by other people's suggestions. If I accept advice from someone, whether or not I ask for it, I feel like I'm being subordinate and subservient to them. In other words: I'm a sucker, a patsy, their puppet, and a fool. And I'm dependent on them. I should be capable enough to do everything on my own. If I'm not, what good am I?
And I really wish I knew when this first started appearing in my life. I'm thinking back to high school, when it was "the in thing" to mislead and dupe other students. And me, being the trusting type, fell for it, more often than I care to remember. I think one of the niucknames people called me was "bait".
But to take the polar opposite -- "trust no one and always paddle your own canoe" -- isn't healthy either. Where is that balance point?
One of my friends -- Julie -- is quick to suggest ways for me to save money. From doing my own car maintenance, to getting get reduced-rate dental care from the local community college, or selling my excess things on Craigslist, to getting free boxes, she's suggesting things for me that she's done herself.
And frankly, I'm starting to feel that I'm being manipulated by her and her suggestions.
There are reasons I do what I do. I don't do my own car maintenance -- oil changes, A/C recharges, etc. -- because it's against my condo association's bylaws to do this type of work on my property. (Plus I'm lousy at car repairs, unless they're simple fixes.) I already have a dentist, but I haven't seen him because I haven't had dental insurance. And I don't exactly trust Craigslist, or the people on it. And as for the boxes -- I"m not interested if they're not just the right size, shape, or style.
What I don't think she understands is that I am willing to pay a little extra to get what I want. If I try to save myself a little money, I often short-change myself, accepting less-than-ideal quality goods.
I feel the same way about salespeople: they'll try to sell you things you don't need, in order to make their commission, and not accept no for an answer. Deep down, I know that not all salesmen are like this, that there there are some good salesmen out there who will work with me to get me what I want, and not try to sell me things I don't need. But I seem to
encounter more of the bad salesmen than the good salesmen.
If I have to bend and say "yes" to one person, then I have to bend and say "yes" to everyone else. And if I do that, I'm not standing up for myself -- I'm a spineless dweeb, saying "yes' to everyone and everything that comes along. And that makes me a sucker.
I hate being manipulated or suckered by other people's suggestions. If I accept advice from someone, whether or not I ask for it, I feel like I'm being subordinate and subservient to them. In other words: I'm a sucker, a patsy, their puppet, and a fool. And I'm dependent on them. I should be capable enough to do everything on my own. If I'm not, what good am I?
And I really wish I knew when this first started appearing in my life. I'm thinking back to high school, when it was "the in thing" to mislead and dupe other students. And me, being the trusting type, fell for it, more often than I care to remember. I think one of the niucknames people called me was "bait".
But to take the polar opposite -- "trust no one and always paddle your own canoe" -- isn't healthy either. Where is that balance point?
