It's been a crappy week......
Mar. 11th, 2005 11:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
poltr1And not just for me. It's been a bad week for a lot of people I know. I don't know if it's the weather, or if it's just March in general, or if Mercury's in retrograde again.
Yes, I was in a deep purple funk the entire week. (It has nothing to do with the song or the band. "Deep blue funk" is sadness that brings out the Mr. Needy N. Lonely in me; "Deep red funk" is anger that brings out the Mr. Ruthless B. Tyrant in me. "Deep purple funk" is a blend of anger and sadness that brings out the Mr. Angry Loner in me.)
Those of you on my LJ-friends list and have read the posts know the depth of it. And those of you who cared enough to respond.....thank you.
It's snowing out. I wish I had ready access to a hot tub. And some fine wine. And a fireplace. And a bearskin rug. And my sweetie, who's already conked out for the night. :(
Yes, I was in a deep purple funk the entire week. (It has nothing to do with the song or the band. "Deep blue funk" is sadness that brings out the Mr. Needy N. Lonely in me; "Deep red funk" is anger that brings out the Mr. Ruthless B. Tyrant in me. "Deep purple funk" is a blend of anger and sadness that brings out the Mr. Angry Loner in me.)
Those of you on my LJ-friends list and have read the posts know the depth of it. And those of you who cared enough to respond.....thank you.
It's snowing out. I wish I had ready access to a hot tub. And some fine wine. And a fireplace. And a bearskin rug. And my sweetie, who's already conked out for the night. :(
Hear me out
Date: 2005-03-13 03:21 am (UTC)When people *don't* respond to me, what I hear (besides the crickets or the wind blowing) in that non-response is "Whatever." or "Ask me if I care." That may be a projection on my part. but it's one of *my* insecurities. There's no need to make that one of yours as well.
I hear and understand your reluctance or fear of saying the wrong thing. And I'll interpret that as one of *your* insecurities. What do you really risk by saying something incorrect or imperfect? I realize that not everyone is as skilled as my wife, Dr. Phil, the men in my mens' group, my counselors, or some of my LJ-friends (
I also know that I'm not perfect. I say the wrong things sometimes, either in person or offline. Or I say nothing, believing that my words would be trite and insincere. In the end....many have forgiven me, even though they still remember.
I've lost two friends because of what they've done or not done, not by what was said or not said. And if you had posted, I probably would have thought, "Ah. She cared enough to read and took the time to post a response." I just need to be better at hanging up the "Do Not Disturb" sign when I'm cranky enough to not want to talk to people, or refrain from responding at those times.
Sometimes, there are situations where there are no words to be said. If a loved one passes away, or if something really catastrophic happens to you, there may be no words that come to mind, but lots of sadness and compassion that comes from people's hearts. That's expressed by a touch or a hug. Even that is more welcome than no contact at all. But in this electronic medium, there's no way to physically reach out and touch someone.
I'm hurting. You're hurting. And neither one of needs more LJ drama in our lives. Perhaps it is best if we take a time-out for a while from responding to each other's LJ posts. In the meantime, can you accept our imperfect friendship?
Re: Hear me out
Date: 2005-03-13 04:18 am (UTC)Of course, no friendship is ever perfect. I was just offended because it felt like you assume I didn't care because I didn't reply... That is BS because if I didn't care or read your post I wouldnt have you on my friends list at all. I agree with the no drama thing, I wasn't trying to cause any, just was speaking my mind. For future reference I will say something even when in your post you hint otherwise. But as I tell people, I cannot read minds and I can only go by what I know... perhaps other people can read you better, i'm sorry I cannot. I'm just me... so perhaps we can put this behind us?
Re: Hear me out
Date: 2005-03-14 06:52 pm (UTC)That'll be fine. If I don't want comments I'll turn off the "accept comments" flag when I post.
But as I tell people, I cannot read minds and I can only go by what I know...
Neither can I. And it's difficult to ascertain emotion, feeling, or sarcasm from just the words alone.
perhaps other people can read you better, i'm sorry I cannot. I'm just me... so perhaps we can put this behind us?
Fair enough.
*hug*