Double standard?
Jan. 15th, 2006 11:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
poltr1All my life, I've heard the old adage "boys shouldn't hit girls". But I never heard the saying "girls shouldn't hit boys". Does that mean it's OK for girls to hit boys?
My answer to that is "only in self-defense".
Yes, I'm aware that most survivors -- I really hate to use the term "victim" here -- of domestic violence are women. But there are some men who experience it from the women in their life. And we rarely hear about them.
The same goes for rape and sexual abuse. Rape is a crime of violence, using sex as the weapon. Men can get raped too, mostly by men, and in some cases, by women.
And men can be sexually abused as well.
I'm just tired of this perceived double standard that society has, that it's not OK for men to hit or abuse women, but it's OK for women to hit or abuse men. It's time to level the playing field.
My answer to that is "only in self-defense".
Yes, I'm aware that most survivors -- I really hate to use the term "victim" here -- of domestic violence are women. But there are some men who experience it from the women in their life. And we rarely hear about them.
The same goes for rape and sexual abuse. Rape is a crime of violence, using sex as the weapon. Men can get raped too, mostly by men, and in some cases, by women.
And men can be sexually abused as well.
I'm just tired of this perceived double standard that society has, that it's not OK for men to hit or abuse women, but it's OK for women to hit or abuse men. It's time to level the playing field.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-17 05:19 am (UTC)If you find these people -- and I'm guessing I'm one of them -- painful and annoying to listen to, then stop listening with your ears (and head) and start listening with your heart. I also invite you to consider expanding your definition of "bully".
In addition to the mental and emotinoal abuse I endured, I too have been threatened and bullied in my growing-up days. In junior high, there was a skinny 8th grader who kept calling me "fag boy". (Why? I have no idea. I just knew he could have beaten the shit out of me.) And in high school, someone tried to light my pants on fire in the back of a school bus. I didn't feel that I was going to be killed, but I certainly felt like I had no friends or that anyone cared for me.
Over time, I've grown up, and have grown stronger emotionally. I've since learned that high school was hell for nearly everyone. I'm also still trying to learn how to effectively wield my personal power, and not use it like a club or have it leak all over the place. Because that's something I never learned back then.
And so, here's the flip of it all: After years of being bullied, sometimes I wonder: have I *become* the bully now? And how do I bully or intimidate people now? I dare to look people in the eye. I call people on their crap. And sometimes my ruthless tyrant comes out, tongue like a rapier, and callous as a clamshell. But when the Hulk comes out, all bets are off, especially if my intented target deserves what they're going to get.
Yes, I know this rambling doesn't make a lot of sense. Understanding is a thre-edged sword, Grasshopper. :-)
By the way.....if the "now" you could go back in time to your high school self, what would you tell that scared young boy?