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poltr1Yesterday was the full moon, which may explain why I was even more irritable and impatient than usual.
This past week, I started a new contract job in an environment I've never worked before -- a high-rise building in downtown Cincinnati. While I'm enjoying the work (especially when I get the results I'm looking for), and I'm getting along with the people I'm working with, this location is not where I'd choose to work on a regular basis.
Working downtown: I grew up in the suburbs. Only rarely did I or anyone in my family venture into downtown areas. And when I did, my parents passed on their paranoia to me with their horror stories of city life. They acted as if the city was full of criminals, waiting to pounce on anyone who happened to be in the same area they were in. My dad would lock the doors on the car when he drove through inner-city areas, believing that he'd get mugged while stopped at a traffic light. Their excuse? "We gre up in this environment, so we know."
Why am I so afraid of working downtown? Here are the things that make me uncomfortable, or a bit leery, about working downtown:
- The scarcity of parking spaces (and the high rates the garages charge per spot)
- The maze of one-way streets
- Lots of pedestrians
- The presence of "street people": panhandlers looking for a handout (some more aggressive than others), street-corner preachers trying to force their version of Jesus down my throat, pickpockets looking to separate my cash and wallet from me, people standing around for no apparent reason, and homeless and/or lower-class people -- usually they're people of color -- looking at me with either fear or hatred in their eyes. To them, I'm probably a representation of "The Man" -- the person responsible for keeping these people oppressed and in the ghettos.
I just want to be left alone, thank you very much. As for buskers, they don't bother me too much; they're too busy playing. But somehow, I feel obligated to toss some money into the case, or whatever else they're using to collect the money.
Working in a high-rise: Most of the jobs I've held over the years were in relatively low buildings -- 4 stories or less -- in suburban office parks, factories, or at military installations. The current job is on the 21st floor -- the top floor of the building I'm in. (I'm above the floor where the CEO has their office!) While the view is wonderful from up there if I look straight out (and not straight down toward the street), I get a weird feeling in my legs and lower body when I'm up in high places. When I ride the elevator, I usually grab the handrail, hanging on for dear life, when it slows down to reach my floor. Even though I'm still moving upward, the deceleration feels to me like the cab is falling, until it comes to a complete stop. But once I step out of the elevator, I feel fine. I tend to forget I'm on the 21st floor, until I look out a window.
Why am I so afraid of elevators and high buildings? I have this irrational fear that because of my weight, the elevator cables will snap and the cab will free-fall toward the ground, or that I'd fall through the floor of the cab. Or that the cab is really an illusion. Or that the building I'm in will tip over or collapse. (This fear long pre-dates 9/11.) The rational part of me says that elevators have safety features to prevent such things from happening, that elevators have regular safety inspections, and there have been very few injuries or deaths involving elevators. The rational part also says that tall buildings are designed to sway a little in the wind so that they don't get blown over or blown out.
I also partly attribute this phobia to seeing the movie "Hotel" when I was either 6 or 7. My parents and I were visiting some relatives on a Saturday night, and it happened to be on TV that evening. In the climax of the movie, some people (including the main crook) get trapped in an elevator, and the cable is slowly failing. While nearly everyone gets rescued, the crook refuses to be rescued, and when the cable finally snaps, the cab plummets to the ground floor, with him inside, falling to his death.
And then there was the scene in the episode of "LA Law" where one of the characters (Rosalind Shays, played by Diana Muldaur) steps into what she believes is the elevator cab once the doors open.....but there's no cab there! And so she falls down the shaft, killing her character.
Sometimes I wonder if this phobia is due to a past life where the person in that past life committed suicide by jumping off a tall building.
I have the same fear about buildings with open atriums, and elevators with glass walls. The Hyatt Regency O'Hare, in Chicago, is only 10 stories tall, but its atrium is wide open, except for the catwalks from the elevators in the center. The worst I've seen is the Marriott Marquis in Atlanta, Georgia. Its open atrium goes up the entire length of the building -- 47 stories -- even though it narrows as it goes up. Even though I managed to get a room on the 1st floor when I stayed there, I was still a few stories up from ground level.
And I were unfortunate enough to be stuck in an elevator, I'd ask for a bottle of booze, a book to read, and a urinal bottle to pee in. If I'm gonna be there for a while, I might as well get drunk and not worry about my predicament.
I know it's not the free-fall that will hurt me; it's that sudden stop at the end. But I'd rather not find out for myself. I won't even get on a free-fall ride at amusement parks; I know I'd freak out.
So....how do those of you who are city dwellers deal with the people you encounter on the street or the sidewalk? And how do you manage working or living in high-rises?
Computer update: They've finally started work on reading my corrupted hard drive, after loaning them my 80 Gb backup drive. (I love external drive enclosures, especially if I can change the drive inside.) The technician's message from yesterday afternoon said that they were able to get 40% of it done before they got an error message, and that they'll resume on Monday.
This past week, I started a new contract job in an environment I've never worked before -- a high-rise building in downtown Cincinnati. While I'm enjoying the work (especially when I get the results I'm looking for), and I'm getting along with the people I'm working with, this location is not where I'd choose to work on a regular basis.
Working downtown: I grew up in the suburbs. Only rarely did I or anyone in my family venture into downtown areas. And when I did, my parents passed on their paranoia to me with their horror stories of city life. They acted as if the city was full of criminals, waiting to pounce on anyone who happened to be in the same area they were in. My dad would lock the doors on the car when he drove through inner-city areas, believing that he'd get mugged while stopped at a traffic light. Their excuse? "We gre up in this environment, so we know."
Why am I so afraid of working downtown? Here are the things that make me uncomfortable, or a bit leery, about working downtown:
- The scarcity of parking spaces (and the high rates the garages charge per spot)
- The maze of one-way streets
- Lots of pedestrians
- The presence of "street people": panhandlers looking for a handout (some more aggressive than others), street-corner preachers trying to force their version of Jesus down my throat, pickpockets looking to separate my cash and wallet from me, people standing around for no apparent reason, and homeless and/or lower-class people -- usually they're people of color -- looking at me with either fear or hatred in their eyes. To them, I'm probably a representation of "The Man" -- the person responsible for keeping these people oppressed and in the ghettos.
I just want to be left alone, thank you very much. As for buskers, they don't bother me too much; they're too busy playing. But somehow, I feel obligated to toss some money into the case, or whatever else they're using to collect the money.
Working in a high-rise: Most of the jobs I've held over the years were in relatively low buildings -- 4 stories or less -- in suburban office parks, factories, or at military installations. The current job is on the 21st floor -- the top floor of the building I'm in. (I'm above the floor where the CEO has their office!) While the view is wonderful from up there if I look straight out (and not straight down toward the street), I get a weird feeling in my legs and lower body when I'm up in high places. When I ride the elevator, I usually grab the handrail, hanging on for dear life, when it slows down to reach my floor. Even though I'm still moving upward, the deceleration feels to me like the cab is falling, until it comes to a complete stop. But once I step out of the elevator, I feel fine. I tend to forget I'm on the 21st floor, until I look out a window.
Why am I so afraid of elevators and high buildings? I have this irrational fear that because of my weight, the elevator cables will snap and the cab will free-fall toward the ground, or that I'd fall through the floor of the cab. Or that the cab is really an illusion. Or that the building I'm in will tip over or collapse. (This fear long pre-dates 9/11.) The rational part of me says that elevators have safety features to prevent such things from happening, that elevators have regular safety inspections, and there have been very few injuries or deaths involving elevators. The rational part also says that tall buildings are designed to sway a little in the wind so that they don't get blown over or blown out.
I also partly attribute this phobia to seeing the movie "Hotel" when I was either 6 or 7. My parents and I were visiting some relatives on a Saturday night, and it happened to be on TV that evening. In the climax of the movie, some people (including the main crook) get trapped in an elevator, and the cable is slowly failing. While nearly everyone gets rescued, the crook refuses to be rescued, and when the cable finally snaps, the cab plummets to the ground floor, with him inside, falling to his death.
And then there was the scene in the episode of "LA Law" where one of the characters (Rosalind Shays, played by Diana Muldaur) steps into what she believes is the elevator cab once the doors open.....but there's no cab there! And so she falls down the shaft, killing her character.
Sometimes I wonder if this phobia is due to a past life where the person in that past life committed suicide by jumping off a tall building.
I have the same fear about buildings with open atriums, and elevators with glass walls. The Hyatt Regency O'Hare, in Chicago, is only 10 stories tall, but its atrium is wide open, except for the catwalks from the elevators in the center. The worst I've seen is the Marriott Marquis in Atlanta, Georgia. Its open atrium goes up the entire length of the building -- 47 stories -- even though it narrows as it goes up. Even though I managed to get a room on the 1st floor when I stayed there, I was still a few stories up from ground level.
And I were unfortunate enough to be stuck in an elevator, I'd ask for a bottle of booze, a book to read, and a urinal bottle to pee in. If I'm gonna be there for a while, I might as well get drunk and not worry about my predicament.
I know it's not the free-fall that will hurt me; it's that sudden stop at the end. But I'd rather not find out for myself. I won't even get on a free-fall ride at amusement parks; I know I'd freak out.
So....how do those of you who are city dwellers deal with the people you encounter on the street or the sidewalk? And how do you manage working or living in high-rises?
Computer update: They've finally started work on reading my corrupted hard drive, after loaning them my 80 Gb backup drive. (I love external drive enclosures, especially if I can change the drive inside.) The technician's message from yesterday afternoon said that they were able to get 40% of it done before they got an error message, and that they'll resume on Monday.
