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poltr1Had a good Mabon ritual this afternoon. Didn't get to schmooze (and nosh at the post-ritual potluck) as much as I would have liked. The girl conked out in the car on the way to the ritual and R skipped the ritual to be with her. (One of the major rules here is "Thou shalt not wake the sleeping child.") R was upset with me that I waited until after I ate to relieve her from mommy duty. She expected me to come get her after the ritual. (But did she state that to me? No. She expects me to read her mind, or to volunteer more. I take the "lifeguard" approach -- I won't jump in the water and save someone unless someone calls out for help.)
As much as I love my little one, there are times where she becomes my ball-and-chain. Our social life has been seriously curtailed since she was born. We rately eat out, and we don't go to movies. (As if we did those things before the kid came along.) Spending time online in LJ and other forums has become my primary social outlet. I am not an asocial loser, and I don't want to be labeled as such.
What about a babysitter? We don't have one that we trust enough to be with her and our house's clutter. Plus I don't know how much they charge now. Grandparents are not an option: one set is about 400 miles away, and we are estranged from the surviving member of the other set.
I also recently checked my LJ-friends list and saw that someone recently unfriended me. Perhaps it was some comments I left in a recent LJ entry of theirs about personal growth and change, and invited them (3rd person singular gender-neutral here) to consider the opportunities. But they (again, 3rd person singular gender-neutral) didn't see it that way; they saw it more as a demand and got defensive, saying that if they had to change in order to get other people to like them, then screw' em.
Now, I can go crying in my milk (or beer, or whatever beverage I have handy) about it, bargain with them to come back, or be callously indifferent to it and say "Your loss. Have a nice life." But in the last several years, my life has been full of changes and personal growth. I can either ride that wave of change, or be swept underneath it. If I don't change, I stagnate and eventually die that way. I know I shouldn't expect others to have the same attitude about change -- some are deathly afraid of it. Added: I like this person as they are, and see tremendous potential in them, even if they don't see it in themselves. So I'll just cut my losses and move on.
As much as I love my little one, there are times where she becomes my ball-and-chain. Our social life has been seriously curtailed since she was born. We rately eat out, and we don't go to movies. (As if we did those things before the kid came along.) Spending time online in LJ and other forums has become my primary social outlet. I am not an asocial loser, and I don't want to be labeled as such.
What about a babysitter? We don't have one that we trust enough to be with her and our house's clutter. Plus I don't know how much they charge now. Grandparents are not an option: one set is about 400 miles away, and we are estranged from the surviving member of the other set.
I also recently checked my LJ-friends list and saw that someone recently unfriended me. Perhaps it was some comments I left in a recent LJ entry of theirs about personal growth and change, and invited them (3rd person singular gender-neutral here) to consider the opportunities. But they (again, 3rd person singular gender-neutral) didn't see it that way; they saw it more as a demand and got defensive, saying that if they had to change in order to get other people to like them, then screw' em.
Now, I can go crying in my milk (or beer, or whatever beverage I have handy) about it, bargain with them to come back, or be callously indifferent to it and say "Your loss. Have a nice life." But in the last several years, my life has been full of changes and personal growth. I can either ride that wave of change, or be swept underneath it. If I don't change, I stagnate and eventually die that way. I know I shouldn't expect others to have the same attitude about change -- some are deathly afraid of it. Added: I like this person as they are, and see tremendous potential in them, even if they don't see it in themselves. So I'll just cut my losses and move on.
