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poltr1Today, October 13, is a special day for me. It is the founding date of the Delta Chi Fraternity. (Or to use the Greek letters, ΔΧ.) It was founded waaay back in 1890 at Cornell University, in Ithaca NY by 11 law students. The fraternity has since become a general social fraternity.
In the spring of 1983, in my sophomore year at SUNY/Buffalo, I pledged and joined this fraternity.
So why would someone like me join a fraternity? I'm a loner, a technonerdboy, and not very athletic. That's not the typical fraternity guy...or so the stereotype goes.
First of all, I wanted brothers. I'm an only son; I don't have any flesh-and-blood brothers that share my name or parents. I wanted the camaraderie of a group of guys who hung out together, who would drink beer with me and talk about anything, could share their innermost secrets in confidence, and had an overall tight bond of brotherhood. The tightest bonds of brotherhood I've seen are firefighters and men in military units -- that's what I wanted, without the requirement of physical fitness or being in the line of fire. And I wanted to have the security of a few good men to back me up should I be involved in a bar fight.
Second, I was intrigued by the idea of being part of a secret society. To possess hidden or esoteric knowledge that most people do not have. It's like being part of an "in" crowd. (Yes, we have our secrets, and I'm not about to reveal them.)
Third, it was an outlet for my creative mischief and my inner "party animal". And we've done some wild and crazy things over the years. Like turn an old urinal into a punchbowl. Or erect two concrete columns in the front yard and sit on top of them on warm summer nights. Or set up a mud wrestling pit in the garage and turn it into a party. Most of our "pranks" were benign -- we didn't tip over cars or set couches on fire in the street.
Fourth, it worked for my sister. She's a few years older than I am. In her freshman year, she joined the Chi Omega Womens' Fraternity (that's the official name). It gave her a change to meet other young women, and an opportunity to move out of the parents' house and live on her own. She still stays in contact with some of them -- and it's been almost 25 years since she joined.
Fifth, I thought it would be a great way for me to meet girls and date them. Sorority girls like to date fraternity guys, right? But I was too weird for them, and couldn't get a single date with any of them. Just as well -- they were too mundane for me. None of them were into the same things I was -- computers, science fiction, and music. As one of my brothers once told me, "Jim, you treat women like they're a different species. They're not."
Lastly, I like to defy and shatter stereotypes. People have certain stereotypes and misconceptions about different groups of people out there, such as fraternities and science fiction fans. I mention the word "fraternity" and people think of movies like Animal House or Revenge of the Nerds, or a group of guys who look, act, and think the same, or be repulsed by the idea of greek-letter organizations.
So....why Delta Chi? I looked at several groups. Some of the groups, like AEPi, ZBT, and Kappa Sigma, were comprised of mostly downstaters, and I didn't think I'd be a good fit. I was too white to be in a black fraternity, like Alpha Phi Alpha, Kappa Alpha Psi, and Omega Psi Phi. The Sammies (Sigma Alpha Mu) were a bit too wild and crazy -- they drank beer out of rubber chickens and hiking boots! I didn't know enough men from Sigma Pi, Alpha Delta Phi, or Tau Kappa Epsilon to consider joining them. I considered joining Sigma Phi Epsilon, but since my sister dated and broke up with one of them (and later hooked up with a D-Chi), I'd probably woudn't get very far with them.
I first met the D-Chis at a rush party. ("Rush" is a term the greek-letter orgs use for their recruitment efforts. The history behind the term is that the upperclassmen would "rush" after the lowerclassmen on a large field -- kind of like rugby without the ball.) These guys had variety in their majors, their racial ancestry (Frank and Juan were Hispanic, Riffin came from Haiti, Woo Huyn was Korean-American), and religion (we had a good mix of Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, and non-observant). And they were regular guys and cool. Plus they had a foosball table and dart board, and a keg on tap in the basement. (New guidelines, after I graduated, were implemented to reduce liabaility and risk. Those rules included removing alcohol from the premises.)
One of the first lessons I learened was that the groups are called "fraternities" and not "frats". "Frats" is the pejorative or derisive word, kind of like "sci-fi" among science fiction fans. It's what people outside the organization(s) often use to describe a particular organization, or the group of organizations.
Overall, I had a good experience with the group. I haven't been an active alumnus in the last several years, mostly because my chapter was closed in 1991. I've signed on to the group's discussion list, and am a member of the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
deltachi community. Right now, that's the limit of my activity.
So.....Happy Founders' Day!
In the spring of 1983, in my sophomore year at SUNY/Buffalo, I pledged and joined this fraternity.
So why would someone like me join a fraternity? I'm a loner, a technonerdboy, and not very athletic. That's not the typical fraternity guy...or so the stereotype goes.
First of all, I wanted brothers. I'm an only son; I don't have any flesh-and-blood brothers that share my name or parents. I wanted the camaraderie of a group of guys who hung out together, who would drink beer with me and talk about anything, could share their innermost secrets in confidence, and had an overall tight bond of brotherhood. The tightest bonds of brotherhood I've seen are firefighters and men in military units -- that's what I wanted, without the requirement of physical fitness or being in the line of fire. And I wanted to have the security of a few good men to back me up should I be involved in a bar fight.
Second, I was intrigued by the idea of being part of a secret society. To possess hidden or esoteric knowledge that most people do not have. It's like being part of an "in" crowd. (Yes, we have our secrets, and I'm not about to reveal them.)
Third, it was an outlet for my creative mischief and my inner "party animal". And we've done some wild and crazy things over the years. Like turn an old urinal into a punchbowl. Or erect two concrete columns in the front yard and sit on top of them on warm summer nights. Or set up a mud wrestling pit in the garage and turn it into a party. Most of our "pranks" were benign -- we didn't tip over cars or set couches on fire in the street.
Fourth, it worked for my sister. She's a few years older than I am. In her freshman year, she joined the Chi Omega Womens' Fraternity (that's the official name). It gave her a change to meet other young women, and an opportunity to move out of the parents' house and live on her own. She still stays in contact with some of them -- and it's been almost 25 years since she joined.
Fifth, I thought it would be a great way for me to meet girls and date them. Sorority girls like to date fraternity guys, right? But I was too weird for them, and couldn't get a single date with any of them. Just as well -- they were too mundane for me. None of them were into the same things I was -- computers, science fiction, and music. As one of my brothers once told me, "Jim, you treat women like they're a different species. They're not."
Lastly, I like to defy and shatter stereotypes. People have certain stereotypes and misconceptions about different groups of people out there, such as fraternities and science fiction fans. I mention the word "fraternity" and people think of movies like Animal House or Revenge of the Nerds, or a group of guys who look, act, and think the same, or be repulsed by the idea of greek-letter organizations.
So....why Delta Chi? I looked at several groups. Some of the groups, like AEPi, ZBT, and Kappa Sigma, were comprised of mostly downstaters, and I didn't think I'd be a good fit. I was too white to be in a black fraternity, like Alpha Phi Alpha, Kappa Alpha Psi, and Omega Psi Phi. The Sammies (Sigma Alpha Mu) were a bit too wild and crazy -- they drank beer out of rubber chickens and hiking boots! I didn't know enough men from Sigma Pi, Alpha Delta Phi, or Tau Kappa Epsilon to consider joining them. I considered joining Sigma Phi Epsilon, but since my sister dated and broke up with one of them (and later hooked up with a D-Chi), I'd probably woudn't get very far with them.
I first met the D-Chis at a rush party. ("Rush" is a term the greek-letter orgs use for their recruitment efforts. The history behind the term is that the upperclassmen would "rush" after the lowerclassmen on a large field -- kind of like rugby without the ball.) These guys had variety in their majors, their racial ancestry (Frank and Juan were Hispanic, Riffin came from Haiti, Woo Huyn was Korean-American), and religion (we had a good mix of Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, and non-observant). And they were regular guys and cool. Plus they had a foosball table and dart board, and a keg on tap in the basement. (New guidelines, after I graduated, were implemented to reduce liabaility and risk. Those rules included removing alcohol from the premises.)
One of the first lessons I learened was that the groups are called "fraternities" and not "frats". "Frats" is the pejorative or derisive word, kind of like "sci-fi" among science fiction fans. It's what people outside the organization(s) often use to describe a particular organization, or the group of organizations.
Overall, I had a good experience with the group. I haven't been an active alumnus in the last several years, mostly because my chapter was closed in 1991. I've signed on to the group's discussion list, and am a member of the
deltachi community. Right now, that's the limit of my activity.So.....Happy Founders' Day!
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no subject
Date: 2004-10-13 11:32 am (UTC)Secret societies always intrigue me and I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with them. On the one hand they intrigue me because, well, natural curiosity I guess and also a long line of ties with them - Grandfather was a mason and oddfellow, much of Ed's family were masons, Ed was a mason (not currently active) and my step father is a shriner. In the end though I haven't joined any because somehow I have this ingrained ethic that secrets tend to be bad. I don't know where it comes from and I can't support it so don't take that as a personal attack. It's just something deep inside myself. It's part of the reason I've never pursued any "path" of wicca.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-13 10:29 pm (UTC)I remember you mentioning the notching contest in an earlier LJ entry of yours. (I just looked it up -- it's your entry from 8/3/04.) You didn't mention the name of the org, so I don't know if that's a national or a local.
I'm sad and angry about what happened to you back then. That is what I believe is the #3 problem with the greek-letter system -- the adolescent attitude that women are nothing more than sex objects. (#1 and #2 are alcohol abuse and hazing, respectively.) While the national organizations have made a valiant effort to educate their members -- mine came up with a list of 10 Basic Expectations -- occasionally someone chooses to revert to immature behavior without considering the consequences. These are the events that often end up in the newspapers, and result in either expelled members, suspended chapters, or in some cases, closed chapters.
This is why I believe active alumni in each chapter are important -- to teach the actives the lessons that aren't taught in classes. One of the men in my New Warrior I-group astutely pointed out, "Boys cannot teach boys how to be men."
However, I hasten to say that you sound like you had a good experience and found some good people. And certainly you did break some stereotypes. :-)
Yes, they were good people. I'm sad that I don't hear from them much any more. Two of them were killed in motorcycle accidents.
I imagine your "frat bros" thought you were a bit weird too eh?
They did at first. But once they got to know me a little deeper, they saw that I was a hard worker, had personal integrity, and with some finishing and refining, would be a good fit.