The naming of products.......
Sep. 21st, 2005 12:26 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
poltr1I am often amused by the names some products have. While pushing my cart down the aisles of the local supermarket, I'll see......
Vicks Formula 44. And in the next aisle, Formula 409. How did they go from cough syrup to all-purpose cleaner in 365 iterations?
Absorbine Jr. A liquid medicine for athlete's foot. Whatever happened to Absorbine Sr.? And will there be an Absorbine III?
Finger cots. Oh look! Condoms for fingers!
Ugli fruit. Yeah, they're ugly, all right. But how do they taste?
Kumquats. Mr. Carlin can't even look at the sign! He sits there, laughing, while they go to waste.
Potted Meat Food Product. It doesn't get more generic than this, folks. Mystery Meat in a can.
Stoned Wheat Thins. Oh wow, man! Pass the J, I need another hit. (I've had them. They're very good.)
Any product in the laundry aisle. (I try to avoid that aisle because I'm assaulted by all the perfumes they put in the stuff.)
Pasteurized Process Cheese Food. What you feed to Pasteurized Process Cheeses.
Easy Cheese. For those who find slicing cheese to be too much effort.
Cheese Whiz. I didn't know cheeses can DO that!
Gimme some others.
Vicks Formula 44. And in the next aisle, Formula 409. How did they go from cough syrup to all-purpose cleaner in 365 iterations?
Absorbine Jr. A liquid medicine for athlete's foot. Whatever happened to Absorbine Sr.? And will there be an Absorbine III?
Finger cots. Oh look! Condoms for fingers!
Ugli fruit. Yeah, they're ugly, all right. But how do they taste?
Kumquats. Mr. Carlin can't even look at the sign! He sits there, laughing, while they go to waste.
Potted Meat Food Product. It doesn't get more generic than this, folks. Mystery Meat in a can.
Stoned Wheat Thins. Oh wow, man! Pass the J, I need another hit. (I've had them. They're very good.)
Any product in the laundry aisle. (I try to avoid that aisle because I'm assaulted by all the perfumes they put in the stuff.)
Pasteurized Process Cheese Food. What you feed to Pasteurized Process Cheeses.
Easy Cheese. For those who find slicing cheese to be too much effort.
Cheese Whiz. I didn't know cheeses can DO that!
Gimme some others.
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no subject
Date: 2005-09-26 09:09 pm (UTC)Actually they couldn't decide whether to use it as a firearm lubricant or a hi-performanc efuel additive for a Chevy V-8; indecision always produces more iterations. (Or maybe it doesn't. I dunno. What do you think? Maybe we should try that again . . .)
Among my favorites for bad taste (especially if you don't like heavy cinnamon) is the "Atomic Fireball" candy that came out about the same year as Conelrad and Cold War duck-and-cover drills (armageddon in yer mouth, oh yeah), or the later "Atomic Balm" (sic) that my high-school-basketball trainer used on sprains (though I never saw a bandaged knee glow in the dark). . .