With every year, it's harder for me to feel the joy........

[poltr1]

Christmas is only 19 days away as I write this.

Every year, it's such a big and long buildup to The Big Day. And then December 26th comes along, and it's business as usual. "Peace On Earth, Good Will Toward Men" gets tossed out with the gift wrap. Such a letdown.

I'm supposed to feel happiness and joy this time of year. I don't. And I refuse the "fake it 'till you make it" approach. I"m not going to put on or paint on a smile when I don't feel like smiling.,


So why am I so unhappy this time of year? There are several factors.

First, the days are getting shorter, and there is less and less sunshine. I look outside, and it looks like I'm looking at a black-and-white painting.

Second, the incessant merchandising. I don't need or want a wide-screen TV, a Lexus with a pretty red bow on it, or diamond jewelry. And don't accuse me of not supporting the economy. I simply can't afford these things, and won't go into debt buying them.

Third, I'm currently unemployed. Or as I often say, "I'm between clients". So money is tight again.

Fourth, the so-called "War On Christmas". Why do some Christians believe they have a monopoly on the holiday? Not everyone out there is Christian. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah. Pagans celebrate Yule. Why can't people understand and accept that we all have different faiths? Is that so hard?

Fifth, I"m divorced and currently have no one special in my life. I have an artificial Christmas tree, but I haven't put it up since The Ex moved out in the fall of '06. (I should put it up for sale on Craigslist.) I also have no room to put it. Why bother putting up and decorating a tree, only to take it all down in a couple of weeks?

Sixth, I get stressed out sending the holiday cards. Some people expect them. And some people receive them but don't send me cards in return. Once again, I'll be paring down my list.


So, what can I do to cope? I'm open to suggestions.

Comments

[autographedcat.livejournal.com]

This is a great list of reasons why your life is less than ideal right now.

Go make a list of all the reasons you can think of that your life is awesome. Tack it up to the wall somewhere you'll see it, and refer to it often. Add to it as the notion strikes you. Take the above list, fold it neatly, and put it away.

The power of positive thinking isn't about "fake it till you make it." It's about using our incredibly powerful minds to slowly and subtly shape our reality. It doesn't happen quickly, and it is sometimes overwhelmed by circumstances, but with constant effort, I find it produces results - sometimes surprising ones.

Ignore all the holiday hype. Pick some things you enjoy, and do them. If someone wishes you a Merry Christmas, smile and say "Thank you." There will be a Christmas Day whether you celebrate it or not; yours may as well be merry too.

If you suffer from SAD or similar, replace lights in your house with full-spectrum lights. They're a bit more expensive, but they make a marked difference in the quality of light in your house.

Just a few random thoughts from a half-awake brain. Good luck!

[stevieannie.livejournal.com]

Couldn't agree more. I struggle with depression too. Due to a paralysing fear of the medical profession (long story...) I refuse to medicate. Well, "too scared to get medicated", would be closer to the truth.

So I do exactly what autographedcat suggests. I celebrate Christmas, because it's a festival of my faith, but I do virtually nothing that 'they' think I should. I don't send cards (I give to charity instead), I have restricted gift buying to my own children and do stuff that makes me feel good instead. This will have an element of religion to it (but could apply to any religion - what's to stop someone going to Shul/Temple/Sabbat on the 25th?), but for me will be far more about spending time on my own (I'm an introvert - I find company difficult at times, never more so than during "family holidays"), reading, sleeping and eating well. I'll spend time with my animals and try to give more than usual (in time, not stuff - I have no more money than anyone does these days). I'll watch funny things on TV.

I'll concentrate on looking inwards and trying to fix what I can about me. I'll use the New Year as a broom to sweep all the sadness and regrets aside and start afresh.

And I'll start being positive about what I want.

I wanted financial stability this year, and things did get a little better. I need to put more positive work into that goal this year, and I have no doubt that if I do, things will get better again.

But yeah, what Rob said.

[harperjen.livejournal.com]

Sorry about the first comment not working right. Was trying to say that autographedcat has a good point. Making a list of the people and things that are the good parts of your life (your daughter, for one!!) can help. I had to re-train my brain when I first struggled with depression--I wasn't actively suicidal, but I thought about it a lot--but I had to pummel my brain to actively find good things, even if they were tiny and trivial: getting a decent parking space, the "mmmmm" of that first sip of coffee/tea, re-reading a favorite book: AND BEING CONSCIOUS OF THAT ENJOYMENT. I won't say "and now I'm sweetness & light all the time and all the shadows are gone", because I'd be totally lying, but I will say that it can help you refocus. Peace to you, my friend, this first week back at home. Hang in there!